I'm Not Made of Stone
by Nye169
Summary: St. Sgt. Clarke Griffin is a PJ in the USAF when she gets deployed on operations to Camp Jaha in Afghanistan to assist the British military already stationed there. Captain Lexa Woods is a Commando in the British Army, toughened by war, she wears her green beret with pride. Scottish!Lexa Medic!Clarke


**Hey guys! So I've been thinking of writing a modern military!Clexa fic for a while so I decided to write this one! To my Brittana fic readers, if you read this, I'm sorry I haven't updated those fics in a long time, my inner Brittana fire has somewhat settled so it's getting kinda hard to get in the zone to write those. I'll still try to update them but it could be a while.**

 **Also, I have no beta, so all mistakes are my own. Also I'm posting this at work so I've only had a quick glance over it instead of in depth editing, okay?**

 **Anyway, here we go with my first Clexa fic!**

* * *

Clarke woke up at 0500 hours, ignoring the ache in her neck as she swung her legs out of her bed and set about getting ready. The sun was barely up, casting a blue and orange hue across her room and Clarke had to blink quickly to adjust. She made her way into her small kitchen and had her usual breakfast of a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich on lightly toasted granary bread with a mug of strong, black coffee and a cup of smooth orange juice, savouring every mouthful. As if on autopilot, she washed up her dishes, dried them and put them away before walking back to her bedroom.

She opened up her wardrobe and reached in for one of the coat hangers that held her various uniforms, pulling the clothes gently from the hanger, careful not to crease them. She laid her outfit across her bed and picked a neatly folded towel out of the airing cupboard in the hall before heading into the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth.

She found herself staring at the white tiles in front of her, one hand resting on the wall as she let the hot water cascade down upon her, not blinking away the droplets that ran into her lashes. She'd already washed herself but the emptiness in her chest had gotten heavier as she lost herself in thought.

The truth was though, that Clarke couldn't actually think. She didn't know what to think. Her mind was as empty as her chest and it almost made her feel sick. She'd felt this way for the past week and nothing she did could quell the growing nothingness.

She got out and dried herself and started getting dressed. She pulled her blonde hair into a neat bun at the back of her head and gave herself a once over in the long mirror she had on the back of her bedroom door, straightening out her shirt as she looked. She hummed in approval and grabbed her already packed duffel bags by her front door, turning to take one last look at her small home. She nodded to herself when she was satisfied that everything was in order and closed the door behind her, locking it, pushing the handle down and gently shoulder barging it three times to make sure it was absolutely locked.

It was 0600 hours now so when Clarke turned to walk down her porch steps and to her truck, she was more than surprised at what she saw before her.

She found herself taking a deep, steadying breath to get her emotions in check when she saw the families that lived on her small street standing outside their homes in silence, looking to her with their hands raised in a salute. Some people even had American flags.

Two men approached from the end of her garden, stopping a foot in front of her with gentle smiles. They both raised their hands in salute, making Clarke let out a quiet chuckle.

"At ease, gentlemen."

The men simultaneously relaxed before one reached for her bags and the other pulled her into a tight hug. "We'll make sure to keep an eye on things around here, your garden and whatnot."

"Thanks Dev," Clarke smiled warmly. "It means a lot."

"Just make sure you get home safe and sound, okay? We'll miss you," The other man said, returning from Clarke's truck.

"I'll do my best, Chris," She smiled again in his direction. "I'll miss you too."

She gave Chris a hug and took a deep breath as they separated. She nodded at her friends and sighed. "Well, time to go save the world."

She gently brushed by them and made her way to the driver side of her Ford Ranger, pausing once more to admire her neighbours outside their homes. Spotting Lindsey glaring at her across the road with folded arms, she pointed and called "You better make your famous lasagne for my homecoming party!"

Lindsey's lips twitched upwards before she called back "You better fucking be on time for your own party!"

Clarke grinned. "That was one time! Let it go!"

"Never!"

The blonde gave a light laugh. "Just get your sweet ass over here, I need to squeeze you before I leave you for twelve months!"

Lindsey's grin turned very quickly to a frown as she started jogging over the tarmac. "Yes, Staff Sergeant!" She jumped into the embrace, gripping Clarke so tightly it almost hurt.

Clarke sighed as she held her friend, trying not to think that this might be the last time they saw each other.

Clarke reluctantly pulled away and touched her palm to Lindsey's cheek. She could feel her eyes beginning to prickle and quickly suppressed her emotions. "May we meet again."

Lindsey nodded. "May we meet again," she repeated.

* * *

Clarke pulled up in the parking lot at Fort Grounder, where she'd been stationed for the past year. Fort Grounder, where she was to get her bus to the airfield which would house the plane that would take her from her comfort zone at home in Washington D.C., United States of America to the starkly different and uncomfortable Afghanistan.

She hopped out of her Ranger and paused, taking in the sight of the large base that she had called her second home and thought back to the previous week when she had found out that she was getting deployed on her first tour.

" _Staff Sergeant Griffin, you are wanted in the Master Sergeant's office."_

" _Thank you, Airman," Clarke had nodded. She walked through the halls until she reached a turn off just before the mess hall, taking a left and knocking twice upon the wood._

" _Enter."_

 _Clarke had entered the office, stopped in front of the desk and clicked her heels together, lifting her right hand in salute._

" _At ease, Staff Sergeant."_

" _Thank you, sir. You wanted to see me, sir?"_

" _Yes, I wanted to be the one to let you know that you need to pack your bags. You are being sent on operations in a week's time."_

 _Clarke had paused, taking the information in, before grinning. This was what she'd signed up for. She was going to help people, she was going to protect her country. She felt the excitement trickle through her veins just as vividly as she had on her first day at basic training._

" _You are to be here at 0700 hours this day next week," Her superior officer had continued. "Your deployment will last twelve months so get as much family time in as you can between now and then."_

' _Twelve months…' Clarke had thought. "Yes, sir. May I ask what the mission is or shall I wait until the official briefing?"_

 _The officer had shrugged. "You'll be assisting the British troops currently stationed at Camp Jaha. Unfortunately I can't tell you more than that right now but you'll get briefed before you leave."_

 _Clarke had nodded. "Thank you, sir."_

 _The man waved a hand. "That will be all, Staff Sergeant."_

 _Clarke had saluted once more, pivoted and left the room without another word._

 _She walked quickly to the nearest restroom, keeping her chin up high and smiling to passing comrades. As soon as she made it, she checked to make sure the room was empty before locking the door behind her and throwing up into the nearest toilet._

 _Twelve months._

Clarke had gotten home that night and that was when the emptiness had kicked in. She had no idea what to expect out there, overseas. She wasn't scared, but packing her duffel bags had cemented the fact that she wasn't simply going for a vacation, she was going for an entire year. An entire year of unfamiliar faces, harsh environments and living under constant threat. Constant threat of being shot, bombed or both. Constant threat of losing someone she cared about.

The excitement had died pretty quickly after that.

And now here she was, waiting to get on the bus with her parents at either side of her, both of them wearing their own United States Air Force uniforms and smiling encouragingly at her.

"You'll do great things over there, Clarke, you were born for this," Her father, Jake, grinned as he gripped her shoulder. "The troops will breathe a sigh of relief when they see the world's greatest medic roll up to base."

Clarke tried to return his enthusiasm but she was pretty sure she just grimaced. "Thanks, dad."

"Come here, darling," Her mother, Abby, said, pulling Clarke in for a hug. "Skype us when you can but stay focused out there, okay? Don't worry about us," she added knowingly.

Clarke just nodded, not trusting her voice when her mother's embrace had triggered a lump in her throat. She held her tighter to her and let out a quiet, shaky breath as her father wrapped the two of them up into his arms, kissing the top of Clarke's head before resting his cheek upon it.

"People are getting on the bus now, honey," Jake's voice rumbled above her. "You need to go."

Clarke swallowed. "Five more seconds."

Her parents chuckled and held her tighter still before letting go altogether. "Be good."

Clarke sighed. "When am I not?"

They just grinned and waved as she ascended the steps and found her seat by a window. She allowed herself a small smile as she waved back, none of them stopping until the bus rounded a corner and was no longer in sight.

The journey to the airfield was quiet. Everybody sat facing forward, staring into the distance as they contemplated. A million thoughts were running through Clarke's mind and it was getting hard to keep up.

She was about to fly six thousand, nine hundred and sixty-nine miles across the world to help keep her country safe, to protect the ones she loved.

Would they be safe without her there with them?

What if something happened and she couldn't do anything about it?

Will they be okay without her?

What if they forgot about her?

Was this what she truly wanted?

Of course this is what she wanted, don't be stupid.

This is what her parents had done. What her ancestors had done time and time again.

Those thoughts swirled around Clarke's head on repeat like an endless roller coaster as the bus drove on.

Her thoughts began to focus and she realised, with confusion, that she was now already at the airfield.

How did she get here again?

"Clarke! Clar- I mean, Staff Sergeant Griffin!"

Clarke glanced around, her brows rising as she recognised the voice. "Sergeant Reyes?"

"Over here, dumbass!" Her best friend waved from Clarke's three o'clock as she bounded her way over.

For the first time in a week, Clarke's grin was genuine. "Fuck, they're not going to make me sit next to you are they? I don't want your greasy hands anywhere near my complimentary peanuts."

Raven held a hand to her heart and feigned hurt. "Quick, somebody get me a medic! My heart hurts!"

Clarke played along, pretending to inspect a wound on her friend's chest. "Leave her, she'll never make it."

Raven laughed and pushed Clarke out of her way. "Come on, dickwad, we've got a third world to save."

* * *

Clarke was exhausted. She had just touched down in Afghanistan and was waiting to disembark from the plane. The flight had been long and hot and uncomfortable and all she wanted to do was bathe and sleep. Her brain was fried from constantly thinking about every possible situation that her loved ones will deal with and what she was about to do for her country.

One by one the airmen and soldiers got off the plane, forming two orderly lines to pick up their gear and get themselves processed to their new base.

The journey to Camp Jaha was about an hour and a half long, Clarke wasn't sure. She was too tired to keep track but falling asleep wasn't possible, her leg was bouncing with anticipation.

And there it was, the surprisingly huge Camp Jaha. Clarke had known about it since it was built of course, but seeing it in person was jarringly different from hearing or reading about it. The gates stood easily fifteen feet tall with steel fencing sprouting from them to surround the compound. Armed soldiers spread out along the perimeter, around twenty feet apart, constantly on alert. There were several high towers dotted along the fence at regular intervals with yet more soldiers and floodlights.

Clarke and the others riding with her stared in awe, a couple of people letting out gentle "Whoa..."'s.

Once being waved on through the gates, they were driven to the centre of the camp, passing what seemed like hundreds of tents on the way. Some of the tents had various makeshift decorations like pieces of wood with painted or carved words or pictures, or flags from different countries. Clarke noticed that there seemed to be a lot more Union Jacks, Saltires, Crosses of St George and Red Dragons than there were Stars and Stripes just yet, but she supposed that was because this was originally a British base.

The air was cooler as they had arrived after nightfall, nipping at exposed skin. It smelled different too.

There was loud laughing and shouting all around as troops were getting ready for bed, there was even music playing and someone's horrific screeching along to Britney Spears and Clarke couldn't help but smile at the sound as she trudged to her sleeping quarters.

A little while past the Britney tent, she heard more music playing. She didn't know what the song was but it was a gentle instrumental tune with a soft flute melody and strings. It was soothing after such a long day.

"Woods! Are you seriously playing the song from the Visit Scotland advert? You're such a fucking stereotype!"

"That's Captain Woods, to you, Corporal! And yeah, you got a problem?"

"I don't know, got any Irn Bru?"

There was a pause then a drawn out "No…"

"I'll be right there!"

"Fuck."

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 **So what did you think? Please do leave a comment to let me know, not only do I love it when people do that, it generally helps keep me writing! I'm already working on chapter 2 but with me working literally every damned day for the next 2-3 weeks, be patient with me XD**

 **The name for this fic is taken from the song Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.**

 **Big thanks to my friend in the USAF for giving me his insight on what it's like to be deployed for the first time!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Nye**


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